Romans 12:12

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. (NIV)

Somedays I do not have any of these things.  Joy, patience and faithfulness are not adjectives I would use to describe myself.  I can be pretty good at hiding it.  But, I can not hide it from God.  Faithful in prayer, for me, is continuing to ask God for the joy and patience.

You know how God teaches patience?  He causes you to wait.  There is no other way to learn patience.  You wait out the affliction of trials you may have until you learn what He has to teach you.  You have to learn it so the lesson sticks.  Otherwise you will keep finding yourself in the same situations.  Your own history may be repeating itself because God has something He wants you to hear, see and do.  The Bible says to count it all joy when you fall into various trials.  This is the path God sets you on to mature as a Christian.

I think some of this struggle comes from just plain, old, being tired, physically and mentally.  It gets tiring being up on those days you are down.  Caregiving sometimes is a trial.  Being a caregiver means being awake for a problem when you should be sleeping.  You are the go to person for every question.  Being in a constant state of readiness for an emergency just comes with the responsibility you have accepted.  But, that is why caregiving is joyful in hope.  The hope that you are indeed being refined to be who God has designed you to be.

Prayer time

Lord, this verse is a recipe I need to create in myself which can only happen through You.  My character needs to grow in these areas.  While I am in this trial let me be open to all that I need to learn.  I want to know joy, patience, and faithfulness.  Thank You for Your work in me through my caregiving role into which You have place me.  Teach me.  I ask in Your name, amen.